feels more than kind of bad about... the awkward, awful joke they'd made to Hickey, fumbling over their words as always, and surely! This will be no different!
...
In the awkward fumbling way, of course. So Siffrin shuffles around looking for Andrew, footsteps making not a sound as they pad down the halls and peek into the various rooms with something in hand. Notably, they are not wearing the cloak they had before; it was bloodstained, after all. Gotta figure out how to clean that off before tonight.
Wherever Andrew might be, Siffrin'll clear their throat from the doorway, holding something behind their back. It's probably not a knife. ]
... Is it okay if I come in?
[ As if most of this place isn't public walking space. ]
[The clothes at the villa predate her by over a century, having a certain flair for embellishment that is rare even for nobility in her city. But she is familiar enough, so despite having no one to help her dress and never quite looking as pressed as if she did, Grace has been managing to look fairly normal, by her standards. She's dressed in completely new, clean clothes, a capelet pulled over everything, standing opposite the wall of timepieces in the clockwork atelier.]
You can come in. [As if most of this place isn't public walking space.]
[ Okay, well, so far so good. The clothes are....... fancier than Siffrin is used to, so he's also been keeping it simple as can be -- which is easier with ones more meant for "males" but honestly, the dresses are very pretty, so maybe one day -- which makes them a pair of plain normal Janes. He shuffles in quietly, staring at the clockwork for a moment (The timepieces are beautiful examples of craftmanship, and part of you wants to pick one open just to see inside) before he holds up a small, wooden sparrow. Carved wonderfully with clean, rounded edges; it almost looks like it could take flight. ]
I, um... wanted to... apologize for earlier, when I was... looking over your friend. Or-- the person you knew, if friends isn't what you were. [ ... ] I'm not really used to handling stuff like that.
[ Even if they'd seemed to do it with little issue. It's compartmentalization, baby. ]
You mean that tasteless thing you said about eating her? [Very directly; to apologize for it, Siffrin should probably also acknowledge the nature of what he said.
She hadn't expected a gift to come along with the apology. Does she even need that? It feels like an inappropriate thing - buying her favor. After a brief hesitation, she holds out her hand for the carving.]
[ It's how it's done, as... far as Siffrin can recall. Something done with effort to help show the magnitude of whatever one's feeling -- regret, appreciation, happiness, sorrow. But Andrew doesn't know that; it's a custom long forgotten, now.
He'll hand it over though, carefully setting it in her palm like it really would fly away if he wasn't gentle. ]
Yeah. I didn't want him to think of her as a meal.
[ Half testing the water on if Hickey really would, half... poking at his confession to see how he'd felt about it beyond a group of many. ]
... is warm and fruity smelly. It remind Siffrin of an island that no longer exists, and once all else has dispersed they find themselves among the flowers and trees to relax. Fairly literally, since they're going to find a nice place to lay down on the ground. Sorry if they look dead to the viewers they're just seeing how difficult it is to doze again.
(Just like last week. It's hard, and then you'll pass out for half a day.)
On the brightside, they do stir when they hear someone's footsteps, lifting their head to see if they can't catch who it is. Company's fine... as long as it isn't everyone and public speaking. ]
[There's the single hesitation of a footstep pausing as she walks into the solarium and comes across a body on the floor. Then Siffrin moves, and Andrew resumes her gait almost effortlessly. The brief hesitation would probably be difficult to notice for the average, unobservant person she's used to dealing with, but she's stymied a little by the comical little "!" that's popped up over her head and is only just fading.]
It'd be idiotic to kill off one of the people with the most useful information. [She sounds a little terse. Maybe that's her way of saying she might have been concerned.]
[It's fine that Siffrin returns to his supine position and doesn't look at her - at the statement that he's an easy target, Andrew's face betrays little response.}
You are?
[Andrew finds a warm spot to sit, leaning back on her hands to bask in it with the grace and guarded body language of a big cat. She'd made a point of flagging her illness at the end of last week as a temporary setback while everyone was gathered this morning.]
Apparently we've lasted this long among them all. [It doesn't answer his question directly, but maybe the indirect answer is enough.]
[ It is. They've both lasted this long, however long it has been, despite their "ease" of targetry. Despite so many of them being loud, overactive extroverts that quiet when an execution is in play. Or maybe they were just awkward. Who can say; it isn't like most got to really know one another in that time frame.
(... You wish it'd stay that way. Less pain for everyone. Your family members are so blissfully unaware.) ]
I wonder how many of them are repeating friendships they had before.
[ (You don't think you would have changed much through the "weeks", if you woke up the same way each time. Maybe gotten to know some by the end, like this time. But...
...
Not like the dragons, or enough to have shock at someone dying. But maybe you did. You don't know who was here, before. You try not to think that your family members might've been here and you couldn't protect them.) ]
I wonder at what point those friendships stop being real.
[She's all-too-familiar with the artifice of people loving a lie, unable to stomach the thought of a person's true nature. It must have happened here at least once.
How long have they been here? Does the length explain why she's so disinclined to play her old, demure, cowardly self? Or is she just releasing the person she's always wanted to be?]
[She may be playing it a little dumb, leaning into their expertise - hoping to hear a framework before she has to betray whether she's thinking of one of her own.]
Won't remembering each other just make us more emotional in response to death?
[Her breathing is so bad by now she can't stand to walk.
Maybe it's self-punishment that gets her to the Promenade, but that would be childish and selfish to think that she's taking on any comparable level of pain.
Andrew wipes the blood from her lower lip with a handkerchief and sinks down to the ground with her back to them.]
It should be me. For my mistake. The only life I should have bet with is my own.
The way it reflects her, the way it reflects you. You know she can see your expression; you don't hide it, the subdued stare you offer back.) ]
... I don't blame you, though. We needed someone. I wasn't taking things very seriously. But... you were right.
[ Very, very gently, reaching forward to touch her back on the mirror's reflection. ]
I didn't care about the the one who died. I think it's sad, but... she wasn't someone I knew well, or at all. [ ... ] Tia was the same, but... I saw how you felt.
[ It helped, of course, that they did have things they could bring to the table, besides... words, and thoughts. ]
[Her throat, which is already threatening to close, tightens up at the admission about Tia - that it was any feelings she might have had about seeing her die that drove them to try so hard last week. Andrew doesn't even know her own. Her eyes are fever-bright but they are also glassy with something she did not expect.
About Shiv, however, she only says:]
I believe her father was a similar man to mine.
[And that she doesn't elaborate, maybe, says everything that can be said about Andrew's father, or why she might have cared why someone rather cold and impersonal and harsh the way Siobhan could be might have been someone she wanted to see get some care.]
I was a little envious of you. [That he was loved so much.] But I thought that was why it would work. [Because he was loved.] ... I thought the killer was the one who ensured Ish arrived at the correct moment.
[ That makes sense, then. Why Andrew wanted to try so hard for her, too.
(You wish you could have seen it sooner. Maybe you could've helped more, maybe you could have done more, maybe...)
... Maybes and what-ifs are nothing, now. Siffrin sits back on their hands and looks up at the ceiling instead. ]
... I think The Witch decided to do that on his own. He said it wouldn't be fun if half of us, but... I think there's something in particular, with the executions. What he needs from them.
[ Maybe, maybe.
Still. Someone who wouldn't speak up. There's one person Siffrin could think of, that no matter what wouldn't have even if...
... But they put it from mind. They don't want to accuse someone with no evidence, the way they were with circumstantial. ]
I wasn't friends with everyone. I didn't make enemies, [ or tried not to anyway, people pleaser for all, ] so I guess they were just scared. Or didn't care. Thought their wish was worth it, and need to see it through.
[ There's no anger, no frustration about it. This might be the first time... really, truly, that there's just a kind of. Apathetic acceptance. Normal, even, to die. ]
I was there when he arrived, already outside. Something about his arrival and what he said when extinguishing the flames just seemed...perfectly timed. Maybe it doesn't matter. No, I'm sure it doesn't, now. [Then again, isn't that Ish's magic - time?
Andrew pulls her knees up and presses her face to them. She does look very young, then, like she really is a child. She hasn't even earned the right to feel bad for this thing she caused. They could have at least chosen her, and she'd feel like she earned this selfish, childish feeling.]
Would you prefer your gift back? So that you can hold onto it.
[She thinks about all of the socks, her only gifts, going missing all at once; how their absence ate a hole in her. She didn't realize she could feel that way about anyone else.]
[ Simple as that. Maybe it's cruel besides, but...
It's true. Siffrin turns their gaze back down to watch Andrew's expression. She seems so... different, than normal. They really aren't mad at her. Hurt, still, but...
... Her reasoning was sound, really. Even if Siffrin hadn't expected so many people to come to their defense actually. ]
I just wish I could carve you another one next week, like I said I would. [ That's one promise broken... ] Sariel's still learning, and Blade's pretty handy with it... just slow.
Then I'll have to keep it. [Even if it will disappear... maybe there's a way to make it not.
If she convinces Ish that having it will be more painful than losing it, maybe he will make an exception.]
I'm not good at making things. Most everything I've given has been an action. [Yes, her giving love language is Acts of Service... and Siffrin might not be interested in what most of those things have been.] So what... shall I give you?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
w1, pretrial
feels more than kind of bad about... the awkward, awful joke they'd made to Hickey, fumbling over their words as always, and surely! This will be no different!
...
In the awkward fumbling way, of course. So Siffrin shuffles around looking for Andrew, footsteps making not a sound as they pad down the halls and peek into the various rooms with something in hand. Notably, they are not wearing the cloak they had before; it was bloodstained, after all. Gotta figure out how to clean that off before tonight.
Wherever Andrew might be, Siffrin'll clear their throat from the doorway, holding something behind their back. It's probably not a knife. ]
... Is it okay if I come in?
[ As if most of this place isn't public walking space. ]
no subject
You can come in. [As if most of this place isn't public walking space.]
no subject
I, um... wanted to... apologize for earlier, when I was... looking over your friend. Or-- the person you knew, if friends isn't what you were. [ ... ] I'm not really used to handling stuff like that.
[ Even if they'd seemed to do it with little issue. It's compartmentalization, baby. ]
cannibalism ref
She hadn't expected a gift to come along with the apology. Does she even need that? It feels like an inappropriate thing - buying her favor. After a brief hesitation, she holds out her hand for the carving.]
It's very pretty. Let me see.
cannibalism ref
He'll hand it over though, carefully setting it in her palm like it really would fly away if he wasn't gentle. ]
Yeah. I didn't want him to think of her as a meal.
[ Half testing the water on if Hickey really would, half... poking at his confession to see how he'd felt about it beyond a group of many. ]
But it was terrible to say that.
no subject
[She's been trying to do that more often, too. So what if it's overly blunt and rude?
She is familiar with the custom of gifts for many occasions; however, as she turns the sparrow over in her hand, she muses.]
It's been a long time since I received a gift.
no subject
She's kind of like Odile, you guess. The same vibe.) ]
Your friends don't give you any?
no subject
[She's squeezing the carved bird a little more tightly in her hand now.] But isn't this a gift for someone else?
no subject
Siffrin shakes their head. Just her. Who else... would they give it to? The other lady was dead. And Hickey hadn't seemed offended. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
w2, monday post meet
... is warm and fruity smelly. It remind Siffrin of an island that no longer exists, and once all else has dispersed they find themselves among the flowers and trees to relax. Fairly literally, since they're going to find a nice place to lay down on the ground. Sorry if they look dead to the viewers they're just seeing how difficult it is to doze again.
(Just like last week. It's hard, and then you'll pass out for half a day.)
On the brightside, they do stir when they hear someone's footsteps, lifting their head to see if they can't catch who it is. Company's fine... as long as it isn't everyone and public speaking. ]
no subject
It'd be idiotic to kill off one of the people with the most useful information. [She sounds a little terse. Maybe that's her way of saying she might have been concerned.]
no subject
Siffrin gives a small, sheepish smile and lays back down, closing their single eye again. ]
I'm an easy target though, information aside.
[ Not really, but no one needs to know that. They would prefer... to keep that underwraps... Habit, now. ]
... Come to get away from the crowd too?
no subject
You are?
[Andrew finds a warm spot to sit, leaning back on her hands to bask in it with the grace and guarded body language of a big cat. She'd made a point of flagging her illness at the end of last week as a temporary setback while everyone was gathered this morning.]
Apparently we've lasted this long among them all. [It doesn't answer his question directly, but maybe the indirect answer is enough.]
no subject
(... You wish it'd stay that way. Less pain for everyone. Your family members are so blissfully unaware.) ]
I wonder how many of them are repeating friendships they had before.
[ (You don't think you would have changed much through the "weeks", if you woke up the same way each time. Maybe gotten to know some by the end, like this time. But...
...
Not like the dragons, or enough to have shock at someone dying. But maybe you did. You don't know who was here, before. You try not to think that your family members might've been here and you couldn't protect them.) ]
no subject
I wonder at what point those friendships stop being real.
[She's all-too-familiar with the artifice of people loving a lie, unable to stomach the thought of a person's true nature. It must have happened here at least once.
How long have they been here? Does the length explain why she's so disinclined to play her old, demure, cowardly self? Or is she just releasing the person she's always wanted to be?]
What are the odds of us forgetting again?
no subject
... Low, but... not zero. I think he'll find it "fun" that we do remember each other now instead. So we should use that to our advantage.
no subject
[She may be playing it a little dumb, leaning into their expertise - hoping to hear a framework before she has to betray whether she's thinking of one of her own.]
Won't remembering each other just make us more emotional in response to death?
(no subject)
mental image of all of siff's birds in storage somewhere like the end of the prestige
ahfnjsks i think limon would do it
i do too... i don't trust her
neither do i... and yet... let the birds continue
(no subject)
(no subject)
KIDS CAN YOU LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
w2 post-trial, me and peace having very positive cr for once
Maybe it's self-punishment that gets her to the Promenade, but that would be childish and selfish to think that she's taking on any comparable level of pain.
Andrew wipes the blood from her lower lip with a handkerchief and sinks down to the ground with her back to them.]
It should be me. For my mistake. The only life I should have bet with is my own.
our extremely positive cr
The way it reflects her, the way it reflects you. You know she can see your expression; you don't hide it, the subdued stare you offer back.) ]
... I don't blame you, though. We needed someone. I wasn't taking things very seriously. But... you were right.
[ Very, very gently, reaching forward to touch her back on the mirror's reflection. ]
I didn't care about the the one who died. I think it's sad, but... she wasn't someone I knew well, or at all. [ ... ] Tia was the same, but... I saw how you felt.
[ It helped, of course, that they did have things they could bring to the table, besides... words, and thoughts. ]
no subject
About Shiv, however, she only says:]
I believe her father was a similar man to mine.
[And that she doesn't elaborate, maybe, says everything that can be said about Andrew's father, or why she might have cared why someone rather cold and impersonal and harsh the way Siobhan could be might have been someone she wanted to see get some care.]
I was a little envious of you. [That he was loved so much.] But I thought that was why it would work. [Because he was loved.] ... I thought the killer was the one who ensured Ish arrived at the correct moment.
no subject
(You wish you could have seen it sooner. Maybe you could've helped more, maybe you could have done more, maybe...)
... Maybes and what-ifs are nothing, now. Siffrin sits back on their hands and looks up at the ceiling instead. ]
... I think The Witch decided to do that on his own. He said it wouldn't be fun if half of us, but... I think there's something in particular, with the executions. What he needs from them.
[ Maybe, maybe.
Still. Someone who wouldn't speak up. There's one person Siffrin could think of, that no matter what wouldn't have even if...
... But they put it from mind. They don't want to accuse someone with no evidence, the way they were with circumstantial. ]
I wasn't friends with everyone. I didn't make enemies, [ or tried not to anyway, people pleaser for all, ] so I guess they were just scared. Or didn't care. Thought their wish was worth it, and need to see it through.
[ There's no anger, no frustration about it. This might be the first time... really, truly, that there's just a kind of. Apathetic acceptance. Normal, even, to die. ]
no subject
Andrew pulls her knees up and presses her face to them. She does look very young, then, like she really is a child. She hasn't even earned the right to feel bad for this thing she caused. They could have at least chosen her, and she'd feel like she earned this selfish, childish feeling.]
Would you prefer your gift back? So that you can hold onto it.
[She thinks about all of the socks, her only gifts, going missing all at once; how their absence ate a hole in her. She didn't realize she could feel that way about anyone else.]
no subject
[ Simple as that. Maybe it's cruel besides, but...
It's true. Siffrin turns their gaze back down to watch Andrew's expression. She seems so... different, than normal. They really aren't mad at her. Hurt, still, but...
... Her reasoning was sound, really. Even if Siffrin hadn't expected so many people to come to their defense actually. ]
I just wish I could carve you another one next week, like I said I would. [ That's one promise broken... ] Sariel's still learning, and Blade's pretty handy with it... just slow.
no subject
If she convinces Ish that having it will be more painful than losing it, maybe he will make an exception.]
I'm not good at making things. Most everything I've given has been an action. [Yes, her giving love language is Acts of Service... and Siffrin might not be interested in what most of those things have been.] So what... shall I give you?
no subject
But, what can she do now...
...
It's an odd, selfish request, but-- Siffrin turns slightly. ]
... Your hand.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)